My first ever blog, “An Embarrassing Secret” sat completed for weeks while I summoned the courage to press “publish”. I had written it in response to a growing need to be honest with friends and family, and ultimately with myself, about the health challenges that I had been facing. Honesty is a commodity in short supply at times. There are so many ways to avoid acknowledging what is plainly true. Denial is a potent draught.
I write as a Christian, having spent most of my life in Church, and much of my career as a minister. I try hard not to use this space as a soap box, and I endeavour not to ‘preach’. I’d hate to alienate those who don’t share my faith, because there is so much else that I’m sure we have in common, especially as we each attempt to make sense of the world and carry our own trials.
I was visiting the Ngaanyatjarra community of Warburton in the Gibson Desert in September 2008 when I first became aware that all was not well, and a protracted deterioration of my own health followed. Many, many tests and doctors have been unable to give a conclusive diagnosis so far!
I finally overcame my embarrassment about the content of my first blog, and my concerns about what people might think, and pressed ‘publish’ on Tuesday 17th Nov ’09. Somehow it was read by 87 people on that day. With some encouragement I began to post a blog each Sunday from that time on. I must confess to feeling self-conscious about the way I go on and on about myself week after week! It seems enormously self-absorbed. But it continues to be very helpful to me personally to think through issues and present my thoughts to the world wide web. And, there are others who have appreciated one or two thoughts as well. I’d love to think that I am discovering something about life that helps someone else make sense of their journey.